Self-Sabotage; what is the cost? - Pollyanna Lenkic

“We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.”

– Carlos Castaneda

How often do you find yourself thinking “I can't”, “I shouldn't”, “It's too risky”,  “I'm not smart enough” or “I shouldn't speak up in this meeting because......”

If these thoughts crowd your mind, you’re not alone.

Self-sabotage is the culprit that breathes life into limiting beliefs that hold us back from realising our potential. It's the voice that shows up uninvited and often suffocates your ideas before they’ve had time to grow.

Do you recognise this voice? Take a moment to look back over your life and pick out the times that you’ve let an opportunity slip by, allowed a potential relationship to remain undiscovered or stopped a dream ever becoming reality.

It's important to accept that the saboteur's voice actually belongs to you. You are the narrator of the stories that tell you, you can't, you should or shouldn't.  

Take action today to side step your own self-sabotage.

It doesn't have to be big - choose something small, something that you’d like to do and haven't because you think you shouldn't.

Maybe you want to call someone, but you’ve made up all sorts of reasons why you can't. Perhaps it's a course you want to take, but you’ve invented a list of reasons why you won't be able to. 

As you start to entertain these ideas, notice what comes up for you. What's the conversation that starts to happen? At what point do you shut down and surrender to the self-sabotage?

Behaviour

What are your self-sabotaging behaviours?

They may include some of the following:

•    procrastination

•    perfectionism

•    over committing

•    not finishing what you’ve started

•    distraction

•    loss of focus

•    self criticism and/or criticising others

•    needed help and didn't ask

•    failure to assert your own needs or desires.

Take a moment to list your sabotaging behaviours.

Cost

Ask yourself, “What is the cost of allowing self-sabotage to run my life?”

This may include a project never taken off your shelf of ideas, an unfulfilled dream, a promotion missed.

Take a moment to list down these costs.

Payback

Now it's time to look at payback.

Payback is what we get from allowing self-sabotage to run our lives. 

Imagine you’re working late. Your saboteur's voice has convinced you that you can't ask for help on this project. So, you’re in the office alone and your resentment’s building. Your payback may be that you get to be right about being in this alone – in short, you get to be the martyr. 

Take a moment to think of similar incidents in your life. When you’ve thought of some examples, what was the outcome? Was it the outcome that you wanted?

The next step

O.K, so now you’re starting to notice when self-sabotage creeps in, what do you do next?

The most important part of bypassing your self-sabotage is by simply noticing.

By noticing, you become aware. You pay attention to what's going on for you.  As tempting as it may be, avoid getting into an intellectual debate with your self-sabotage. The moment you get into dialogue with your sabotaging voice, you’re defeated. 

Take a moment to listen to the message your saboteur delivers and know that you have a choice, a choice of accepting this or moving on.

Does this message serve you?  If not, push the message away and allow yourself to see what’s possible once you’re free from its grip.

Yes, it takes practice, but you’ll soon discover the rewards are worth it.

Commitment

Make a commitment now to start noticing your self-saboteur's voice. Dare to dream about what's possible for you when you eliminate this voice from your life.

About Pollyanna Lenkic

Pollyanna is the founder of Perspectives coaching, an Australian based company specializing in coaching and leadership development for executive women. A certified coach and a certified practitioner of NLP, Pollyanna brings extensive business experience to her coaching practice and has provided coaching, facilitation and delivered workshops in Australia, United Kingdom and the USA . Pollyanna is dedicated to working with people who want the very best from their life and work and who have the drive and commitment to achieve it.

 Visit Perspectives at: www.perspectivescoaching.com.au