Tips to an optimist’s happiness - Sarah Beaumont

• When you first wake up spend 5 minutes pondering what wonderful things life has in store for you that day.

• When something does not go to plan, tell yourself that some of life’s greatest gifts come unexpectedly. Perhaps it is a blessing in disguise.

• When you hit those difficult challenges remind yourself it is the difficult ones that are really worth fighting for.

• Don’t get hung up on disagreements, when in fact it is this difference in perception that makes life really interesting.

• Spend more time with the people who make you happy. • Make a list of activities that make you happy. Do some of them every single day.

 Smile an idiot smile.

• Pamper yourself.

• Offer to lend an ear to someone who needs support.

• Practices gratitude….say thank you for all the good things in your life.

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To combat negativity, there are certain types of thinking that are best avoided

Overgeneralising

This involves taking one case and applying it to every case: One person acts disinterested therefore everyone is.

All or nothing thinking

This is sometimes called black and white thinking. It involves catagorising yourself and others and the actions of self and others into two clear camps: Good/bad. Winners/losers. Successes/Failures.

Ignoring the positives.

This involves filtering out good indications, signs and signals and turning them into negatives.

Catastrophising

This involves anticipating worse case scenarios and often rehearsing them in your head.

Personalisation

Interpreting every action by others as somehow reflecting on you. For example: A person frowns = they dislike me.

Misfortune telling

This is a little like catastrophising and involves negative self-talk such as: ‘I’ll never be able to work this out’. ‘Everything is going to go wrong’. These selfstatements usually contain superlatives: always, never, every single time etc.

Mind reading

This involves assuming the other person’s point of view rather than simply asking them.

Limiting beliefs

This involves having a ‘small’ view of yourself in the world.

Rigidity and fixedness

Holding onto an idea, belief, feeling or behaviour in a dogged and determined way and resisting seeing things from a different perspective.

Jumping to (false) conclusions

One and one makes fifty.

To combat negative behaviours, there are certain types of attitudes and behaviours that are best encouraged.

Normalise

Recognise that fear and negativity are normal human emotions. We all feel fear and we all have to find ways to manage fear. Everyone from the most senior to the most junior person experiences fear. Everyone has to learn to manage and master fear in life. You can.

Plan

If you have a clear plan of attack and set yourself progressive goals you will gain a sense of achievement and reach your goals. Planning helps prevent poor performance and builds your confidence.

Positive self-talk

This involves coaching, nurturing and encouraging yourself forward: You can do it, You are capable, Hey you did that well etc.

The re-frame

This is looking at a problem, challenge, idea in a more useful and positive way. For example: Changing an old thought, ‘I am not a good presenter’, into a new thought, ‘Every time I present I learn more and get better at it’.

Action

Negativity is an immobilizing emotion which at its worst will turn you into a classic ‘Bunny in the headlights’. Moving out of the frozen paralysed state takes one small action. When you move/act you are no longer stuck.

Take risks

Fear and negativity makes us take the ‘safe’ course. As a consequence, we limit our potential for growth and development as human beings. Every weekdo one thing, no matter how small, that takes you ‘out of your comfort zone’.Every little stretch that you make helps you to grow as a person. Act as a brave person would. Ask yourself: what would a brave person do?

Seek support

Fearful negative people isolate themselves and reduce their range of experiences. Mixing with positive, supportive people enhances your sense of self-worth. Choose work mates who build and support you.

About Sarah Beaumont

Sarah Beaumont is PRONOIA’s Managing Director and  has a background in Learning and Development spanning 25 years. Ten years ago, when PRONOIA first formed and after completing qualifications in Counselling and Psychotherapy, Sarah began working with individual clients in a counselling, coaching and mentoring role.
In the last five years, Sarah’s business has grown into a national consultancy with close to 40 people The PRONOIA team works with both organisations and individuals. They have worked with a wide range of clients including large corporates, small to medium enterprises and government departments.

Visit PRONOIA at: www.pronoia.com.au